The Zeros - Beat your Heart Out // Wild Weekend (Bomp) 1978. This one goes out to Mike, Otto, Ben, RG, Texas Bell-End, Tom G and Scott. It’s the second Zeros 45 and its not as good as the first (Don’t Push Me Around / Wimp). However, it is featured on the amazing and easy to find Bomp compilation The Zeros - Don’t Push Me Around. A lot of people, myself included, have mistaken The Zeros for an East LA band because of their Latino heritage. However, The Zeros were actually from San Diego. They were younger than the Hollywood punks of the time and were sorta looked upon as cool, upstart, little brothers to a lot of the Hollywood bands. As pointed out previously, the Zeros were a combination of a lot of disparate elements; they combined a nascent garage punk look and sound with real Class-of-77 song themes. They used to stay at the Tropicana Motor Inn in LA when visiting and co-resident Tom Waits used to refer to them as “these Mexican kids with pointy shoes”, which I think sums it up.

The lead singer of the band was a guy named Javier Escovedo. His brother Alejandro was in The Nuns up in San Francisco so there was a lot of musical cross-pollination with these guys all up and down the Pacific seacoast. After The Zeros ended, Alejandro (who was at that point playing with Rank and File) and Javier formed the highly underappreciated True Believers in Austin, Texas. Perhaps even more interesting is the story of guitarist Robert Lopez who, after a short stint in Catholic Discipline, went on to become El Vez. Possibly one of the greatest live acts in the history of the world.

Endangered Species (Glitterhouse Records) 1990: And lo and behold it came to pass in that most holy year of 1990 that a box set was released upon the world. A box set of such collectible magnitude that record dorks near and far began counting their pennies in earnest and rapt anticipation of its release. Endangered Species was said box-set and the tchotchkies contained within said box-set were good….nay, divine. For each 45 sleeve was also a puzzle piece and when put together on one’s floor, in front of one’s hi-fi while smoking cigs, it displayed the most miraculous of images. So a rallying cry was called from the Atlantic to the Pacific…to all the record dorks near and far….save up thy pennies from thy jobs at art house movie theaters, record stores and comic shops and be one of the first to purchase this limited edition box-set from Germany. Then and only then can you invite friends over and lord over them your utter and infallible coolness. Yes, if cred could be carried in a box in that halycon year of 1990, it would have travelled in the Endangered Species box-set. And any listener would have been treated not only to a jizz-worthy display of pop-culture packaging but also to a set of some of the best underground music of the day. Right before alterna-nation ripped out its steaming guts and made sausages out of it for mass nirvana.

Endangered Species Box Set

Bastards: Groovy Space Man Pills
Bitch Magnet: White Piece Of Bread
Bored!: Christine
Bullet Lavolta: Hello There Ladies And Gentlemen (Cheap Trick)
Codeine: Castle
Cows: Good Cop
Green River: Ain’t Nothin’ To Do (Dead Boys)
Halo Of Flies: Clowns
Helios Creed: Boxing The Clown
Monster Magnet: Murder
Surgery: Losida Slide
Unsane: Four Sticks (Led Zeppelin)

Metal Urbain - Hysterie Connective | Pop Poubelle (Radarscope Angleterre) 1978. One of the greatest releases of the last few years has gotta be Anarchy in Paris, released in 2004 on Seltzer’s Acute Records label. I mean, is there a better fucking label reissuing stuff today? The Lines? The Theoretical Girls? The Prefects? Metal Urbain? Are you for real??? So for those not fully in the know, Metal Urbain were touted as France’s answer to the Sex Pistols. However in a typical french twist, they sound very little like the Sex Pistols. I personally have always liked the comparison. I imagine a 13 year old kid, in love with Sid Vicious and punk rockyness (like myself at 13) getting hepped to Metal Urbain by a blog (like this) because they were the “Parisian Pistols”. Said kid goes out and buys one of these 45s or maybe even Anarchy in Paris and blammo….the doors of perception are blown clear open. That’s really what it is all about ain’t it?

See Metal Urbain had no drummer. That’s a big difference from the Pistols. Their drummer was a rythm machine. They also loved to break out the vintage analog synths. They released three 45s in the late 1970s that pretty much set the template for synth punk. The first two 45s are just a full-on blast of noise and energy. I mean look at the video for Panik fer chrissakes. Is that not one of the most PUNK ROCK things you have ever seen? Now contrast that to this 45 from 1978. By Hysterie Connective Metal Urbain had harnessed their sound and brought in some elements of 1960’s garage rock. If you have ever heard Nag Nag by Cabaret Voltaire, you are heading in the right direction. Check it out.

Yuppie Pricks - Balls (Chicken Ranch Records) 2008. It had to be more than just coincidence that caused the new album by Yuppie Pricks to arrive at the Last Days of Man on Earth World HQ. Had to be. I mean, I had just finished writing about the underlying conservatism of hardcore and I get this thing in the mail? An album with songs entitiled “G.O.P.” and “Fraternity Days”? With lyrics that explore the neverending joys of being rich, white, republican males from TexASS? HAD to be more than coincidence. Right?

Well, no. Ascribing anything more than coincidence to this would mean that I believe in fate and Stumble has no time for fatalism. The boys in Yuppie Pricks? They do. They believe they were fated to be the “haves” while you dear readers are “have-nots”. Like they say they are “model guys, fraternity links with national ties”. Who the fuck are you? Just some punk loser flipping burgers. This is not me talking. This is where Yuppie Pricks are coming from. Can you get next to that?

Sure the album is a novelty record in the same sense that a Gwar album is. Sure the novelty can wear thin at times. I mean, you’re gonna ask me to listen to a song with the title “G.O.P.” after eight fuckin’ years of GW Dipshit? When the mere mention of McCain and his traveling Hockey Mom sideshow is enough to throw me into homicidal paroxisms of rage and distemper? And the song is actually good enough that I find myself singing along and laughing at how offensively stupid the whole thing is? I find myself enjoying the whole album?

Well, that takes balls, mi amigo. Balls indeed.

Yuppie Pricks - Balls

01. Collars Up
02. Greed Is Good
03. Donkey Show
04. Frat Cars
05. Fraternity Days
06. Fuck You, I’m Rich
07. Male Model
08. G.O.P.
09. Loser
10. Prick4life

Stream The Album HERE

www.yuppiepricks.com
www.myspace.com/yuppiepricks
www.chickenranchrecords.com
www.myspace.com/chickenranch

New Bomb Turks Writeup

The folks at the local Saint Louis independent weekly The Riverfront Times have been kind enough to let me do a guest post on The New Bomb Turks. So if you just can’t get enough of my inane ramblings, go here and ch-ch-check it out.

Suicidal Tendencies

The genius at I’ve Heard It Before has unearthed two brilliant Suicidal Tendencies videos. They are from wayyyy before the first album and show Mike Muir and company in a very different light. First of all, Mike himself is not wearing his trademark bandana and instead looks a lot like Casey Royer. I don’t think guitarist Grant Estes and bassist Louiche Mayorga are playing in this lineup yet either. In fact, these dudes look like a bunch of standard suburban hardcore punks circa 1981 OC. The Venice identity is not very prevalent yet. Musically, they haven’t found that crazy Suicidal sound that you can hear on the classic first album. Probably due to the fact that Estes and Mayorga were instrumental in building that sound. Still, this shit TOTALLY shreds! Check it out:

To view the other video go to I’ve Heard It Before.

Stumble U.S. Tour

Finally…work is sending me to a bunch of places this fall. Here’s the itinerary thus far:

sept 9-13: NYC
sept 23-27: Minneapolis
oct 18-25: Denver
oct 28-30: Baltimore

If anyone has any info on any cool shit to do / record store recommendations etc, please let me know. As of this point, I will be doing a radio show in Boulder (and eating Green Chili at the Brewery Bar on Kalamath) on October 19th (more info to come) and may be checkin’ out Helios Creed in St Paul on September 26th. You can drop me a line at joe@lastdaysofmanonearth.com or leave info in the comments box below…or not.

Condemned To Death - Self Titled 7inch EP (r radical records) 1984. A while back I posted some Tales of Terror and Malfeitor as well a number of other folks started name-checking a band called Condemned To Death that I was somewhat unaware of. Let me give you the background on this because I think its kinda funny. Back in the day I bought a record called Slum With A View by a Fresno band called Capitol Punishment. I didn’t like it at all and sold it a few weeks later. I had read that they were a good band but from what I could tell, they were pretty unmemorable. Over the years, that band became Condemned to Death in my mind and I avoided any releases by them like the plague. In reality, those bands had nothing in common other than they were both hardcore bands, both from Northern California, both released records around the same time, and both had similar names. Hey, wait a minute. That’s a lot of similarity. No wonder I got confused.

So anyway, don’t let it ever be said that Joe Stumble does not listen to the readers. I take your advice very seriously. If you say that I’m a chump for not diggin’ on a band, I’m gonna go right out and check said band out. I did that with Condemned To Death and let me tell ya….I am glad I did. See, I used to have a couple of their tracks on a tape back in high school and for years. YEARS man…I looked for Hairspray Randy and Bang your Maidenhead. I thought they were long-lost Fang tracks and I have bought everything by Fang. Never found ‘em which is of course because they weren’t Fang tracks at all. They were off of Condemned To Death’s genius LP Diary of a Love Monster. So, I guess the moral of the story is that I too discover cool shit off of Last Days. It’s a win-win.

GTA released all of C2D’s material a few years back and I highly recommend buying it. I’ve posted their first 7inch so that you can hear them but make no mistakes, this EP is nothing compared to the LP that followed. I highly recommend buying a copy of the GTA release to hear that.

Condemned To Death - 7inch EP

D-Day
Pain Of Mind
Dismember Me
Wired
Media Control
Ocean
Beach Creep

Davy DMX - One For The Treble (Tuff City) 1984. Davy DMX was a very prolific figure in the early days of rap who had his hands in a lot of different projects. He produced some early Spoonie Gee and Lovebug Starski recordings. He was the dejay for Kurtis Blow. He was in the Run DMC spinoff group The Afros. The earliest crew he was associated with was Orange Krush who are named checked in Run DMC’s seminal track Sucker MCs. Because of his involvement with DMC and the whole Hollis Queens scene in general, Davy was a prinicipal player in the birth of Def Jam Records which means that he was also a key figure in the transition between the first “old school” and the second “old school”. This track was one of his only recordings and is a classic deejay cut. One of the best thing about this track is that Davy does not overdo it. Unlike say a Grandmixer D.sT, Davy DMX knows when not to cut. He doesn’t fill up every moment with samples. He lets the groove ride. The spot where Run repeats “jay cuts the record down to the bone” is one of my favorite deejay moments.

The Melvins - Oven | Revulsion/We Reach (Leopard Gecko) 1989. Jaysus! Does anyone remember when Ozma came out? I do that’s fer shure. I know, I know…Gluey Porch Treatments was the first LP but lets face it, unless you were a Northwest insider, that record just did not hit the radar. What it did do was build some buzz so that when Ozma came out we were all waiting patiently for it. The word was that out of all the stuff coming outta Washington, the Melvins, more than anything, were the real deal. Ironically enough, I think being here in the midwest (I was in Tulsa at the time), made me even more prepared for Ozma. I mean I grew up around stoners and burnouts crankin’ Black Sabbath out of Firebirds and Dodge Darts after school. That was the world I was from. I picked this platter up at Starship, took it home and was literally blown away. Here was the perfect combination of Hard Rock sludgery mixed with Punk Rock minimalism. AND it was avant garde as fuck. I mean listen to Oven dude…what the hell is actually happening at 00:25? The Melvins are the ultimate example of having your cake and eating it too. So yeah, I mentioned in my Drunks With Guns post that St Louis did it first and I believe that. But the Melvins did it the best. Hands down and they are still to this day one of the coolest bands around. They came to St Louis last year and literally rocked the house down. This 45 was a precursor to Ozma. It was released on Leopard Gecko. Remember them? Now pardon me while I go roll up a doobie so that I can bribe some hesher for a ride to school.

Rude Weirdo - Every Girl In The Shower (Louisville Lip Records) 2008. Another one from the twisted and sick world of Dave Bird (Verktum/Vrktm). I swear Dave is in a band for every day of the week. The bass and vocal duties are taken care of by a guy named Eric and for all intensive purposes its his band. Now as many people know, I believe Dave is a shit-hot guitar player and he keeps it up on Every Girl on The Shower. I don’t think the music is as tight and adventurous as Verktum but lyrically Eric makes up for a lot with just sheer offensiveness. I mean, who doesn’t want to listen to a song entitled “Dick Chigger”? Of course, nothing and I mean nothing on the album lyric-wise can come close to the sheer aesthetic uglitude of the cover. Now you’re probably looking at the cover up above and thinking, “shit Joe, that’s not so bad”. Well that’s because I am protecting you, dear reader from being offended. However, if you really want to see the thing, just click the thumbnail of the cover and a nice hi-res version of the real cover shall be revealed. Don’t say however, that I did not warn you. If you are interested in ordering this CD just contact the nice folks at Louisville Lip.

Rude Weirdo - Every Girl In The Shower

Resting Space
The Devil’s Tree
Revved Up Redneck
Make it Big
What’s Up, Tase This
Dick Chigger
All the Cute Boys and Girls
Killer B’s
My Mind is Hung
Kid’s Frost
Hitchless
You Get Vicious

Monochrome Set - 10 Don’ts for Honeymooners // Straits of Malacca (PRE) 1981. I could do a writeup on The Monochrome Set and explain how brilliant they are from both a musical and lyrical perspective. I could go on to explain how singer Bid’s laconic delivery regarding the joys of corporal punishment on the B-Side of this single is reminiscent of Charlie Mortdecai after one too many gin and tonics. I could ramble on about how brilliant Lester Square is on the guitar. But instead I’ll just let Bid and the rest of the chaps share with you some do’s and don’ts for honeymooners. So grab a cup of tea and read along:

10 Don’ts for Honeymooners

Don’ t ski naked down Mt. Everest
With lilies up your nose
Don’ t punt up the Ganges in a vest
And holler ‘Thar she blows’

Mush a ding, toodle eye-ay
Tara diddle dyno day
Yi yi yip, yip yipee yay

Not convinced??? Well how about a video for another one of their brilliant tunes?

Monochrome Set - Jet Set Junta